I am writing...

I am writing to you. Yes.

Random Ramblings of Creative Thought

Sucked into an endless vortex of empty space. Nothing to grab on to, nothing to slow you down. Inertia uninhibited. Pulled onward by an unstoppable force in seemingly no direction. The comfort of sound does not grace your ears or soothe your terror.  You feel no touch reaching out for you. You see no structure, no form, no concept or idea to reassure you that wherever you are going is indeed out there. Led blindly by an invisible guide to a place unknown.

To kick, to scream, to wail to cry- these are all viable options; all of these are yet futile. You struggle against an unseen oppressor. You fight an untouchable torment. Acceptance- this is truly profitable. Immediate fear and lasting pain… Ultimate peace and total knowledge in uncertainty.

Close your eyes and go.

Yay For New Photos

All new photos guys! The first bunch will be from my Canon T50 film camera, the ones starting in color will be from my Nikon D3000.

Enjoy, ask questions, and comment on what you like or don’t like. (note that the film got slightly messed up in the production process… stupid CVS)

What's a guy to do?

I feel as though there are tons of things for me to think on and make decisions about right now. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t even know if I really feel like writing this post, but I am going to do it anyways because I know that from now till Sunday I will not have internet access.

just as a random thought, i recently viewed a website that never used capital letters. i thought i’d give that a try just to see how it felt. something about it seemed simplistic, and calming; yet another part of it seemed somewhat confusing and arrogant. this is my attempt to decide whether or not i like it. be prepared, this could cause a very noticeable change within my blog posts  hehe

I want to leave it up to you, my readers. Please let me know in the comments below if not using capital letters is a good or bad idea, and why. because this blog is for both you and me, i greatly appreciate your feedback and input into how i manage it. THANKS!

Here is a random photo! Yay!

These are some of the yummy rolls that I had the privilege to eat today for Thanksgiving. I am very thankful for them!

Ugh… I don’t feel like writing anymore. I want to not be tired so that I can enjoy blogging. I want to have my new phone, which is the *Blackberry Bold 9930* by the way. I want to have Wi-Fi tomorrow, the day after that, and the day after that. I want a lot of things. I don’t want to have to make all of the decisions that I need to. I don’t want to deal with issues that will cause stress and most likely financial obligations. I want to stop writing and go to sleep, but not really.

I want to be in Costa Rica or Cozumel, Mexico or Jamaica.

I want to cry and I know why but I don’t why I haven’t addressed it.

I want to talk with my best friend. You know who you are- but don’t think it is to vent or anything… I just miss you. I would say text or call me, but it is just as easy for me to do that, so I think I will. I love you!

I just realized that I never stopped writing, so I’m going to do that now.

But just as a closing note, please don’t take this as me needing to be consoled or given sympathy. That is not what this is about. In fact, it is too random for such an action. This is just me writing the things I would verbally say instead of writing the things that I mentally want to say. My verbal diction is much less sophisticated, but I’m ok with that. I like surprising people with my level of intelligence. It’s fun.

Thanks for reading guys. It means a lot to know all of you enjoy the things I say. Sorry for the lack of “substance” in this post. I guess its substance is a small and unorganized glance into my daily shallow thoughts.

BOOM.

Done.

Back to Proverbs

It has been quite a while since I last spoke about Proverbs within the series Righteousness vs. Wickedness. I thought that today would be a good day to return to this topic. Why? — well, why not? Every day is a good day to study God’s Word. Looking back at the last Proverbs post, I ended with verse 2. As a result, I will start this one with verse 13…

Just kidding, verse 3. Here we go!

3. The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. (Proverbs 11:3)

This verse is pretty straightforward. Despite its simplicity, I find the message it delivers to be very amusing. Here in this one line, we find guidance and destruction. If you want to have a sense of direction, develop your integrity and allow it to manifest itself in your life in a way that will be evident to others. Just in case you are wondering what integrity is, I took the liberty of using dictionary.com to provide you with a proper definition.

integrity  (ɪnˈtɛɡrɪtɪ)
— n
1.	adherence to moral principles; honesty
2.	the quality of being unimpaired; soundness
3.	unity; wholeness

In the King James Version, integrity can be compared to righteousness (see Prov. 13:6). As listed in its definition, to have integrity is to adhere to moral principles; to be honest, sound, and whole. As Christians, this concept of morals is conceived from the teachings outlined throughout scripture. It is also directed by the teaching of the Holy Spirit. Those seeking to have integrity or to be righteous will be guided by the Holy Spirit. This is clearly asserted in the beginning of verse 3.

The second half of the verse begins with another noun, perverseness. The definition of the adjective perverse is listed for you below.

perverse  (pəˈvɜːs)
— adj
1.	deliberately deviating from what is regarded as normal, good,or proper
2.	persistently holding to what is wrong
3.	wayward or contrary; obstinate; cantankerous

Therefore, perverseness is the quality or state of being perverse. The perverseness of transgressors (sinners) is the deliberate disregard or deviation from that which is true and good. To be perverse is the complete opposite of what it means to have integrity. Likewise, the result of perverseness is contrasting to the result of displaying integrity. For those who are perverse, the end result will be destruction. The guidance spawned from integrity will lead us on a path that will keep us from destruction. The interesting thing about these results is the time in which we may see them.

In the modern North American day that I live, I am taught to expect results now. I live in a fast-paced society that wants to reap the benefits of its actions immediately. In the case of this verse, only one type of action guarantees results within this lifetime. If you can’t see which one that is, it is action guided by integrity. What is the guaranteed result? Guidance. On the other hand, if you would prefer to not reap the benefits of having integrity now, you’re welcome to try perverseness! You may very well never experience the destruction which is guaranteed in this passage until your death; but do not be misinformed… eventually you will be destroyed.

This whole passage makes me giggle. Integrity and guidance go hand-in-hand. The Holy Spirit and Word guide us so that we can display righteous integrity, and then our integrity guides us throughout the extent of our lives. In light of the American mindset that drives a good number of our decisions, the obvious choice would be to strive for integrity. It is guaranteed to pay off now, and to do so very well.

Should you choose perverseness, I will not need to discuss how to go about being perverse. It comes naturally. Should you choose integrity, you will have to try a bit harder than the others. Because you are human, acting and living with integrity will go against everything your sinful nature tells you to do. Thankfully, you have another aspect of your being that battles against that sinful nature. This is the Holy Spirt which is accompanied by the Word of God. The two are inseparable, as described by scripture.

1. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1)

God = The Holy Spirit = The Word

11. Thy Word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against Thee. (Psalm 119:11)

The Word of God is written on the hearts of man.

9. Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

The Holy Spirit lives inside of you in order to provide peace and guidance.

Having and displaying integrity is easy and hard. It is easy in that we know who to look to and where to look for guidance in our actions. The hard part is allowing ourselves to be instructed in the Word of God and to let the Holy Spirit correct us as we make mistakes. If we do this, however, our lives will line up with the will of the Lord. This will is true, good, whole, honest, and sound. Look back at the definition of integrity. See if God’s will lines up with it.

8. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you to integrity, and allow integrity to guide you in your walk with Christ and others.

Christian "Brain Damage"

I would like to talk to you for  a while about what I believe all Christians experience at some point in their life. It is a phrase I call “Christian Brain Damage.”

Before I go into further detail, please watch this short clip. It is an excerpt from one of Bill Cosby’s comedic videos “Himself,” made in 1983. In this section of the film, Cosby describes some of the difficulties he has with his children.

Although all good metaphors break down at some point, I believe that Cosby has caught on to a very simple problem that most people go through. As he described in the video, his children do not do what he asks them to do. In fact, they do what he asks them not to do even though they know they are not supposed to do it. He refers to this as “brain damage.” His kids do the very thing he asks them not to do and when he asks them why they did it, all they can say is “I dunno!” — Brain Damage.

I have been reflecting on my life and actions in the past few days and I have come to the conclusion that I have Christian Brain Damage. I constantly do things God has said are not healthy for me. They might be things he has commanded me not to do and I have done, or they may be things that he has asked me to do and I have not done. I fail God in this way every single day, and all I can ever say when God reminds me about it is “I dunno!” — Brain Damage.

When facing this fact, I am drawn back to the Word, where a fellow child of God was also experiencing Christian Brain Damage. Check out Romans 7:15-25

¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

 ²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

In these passages, the Apostle Paul is speaking to us regarding the constant struggle that he has with his sinful nature and his ability to do that which the Lord has called him to do. His life is far from perfect and he often feels this sense of Christian Brain Damage which has been caused by the evil that is within us all. He feels regret and remorse for his actions, and when he is confronted by his Father, Paul is thoroughly humbled.

The difference between the brain damage that Bill Cosby describes and that which we as Christians experience is seen in the father’s response. In his video, Cosby demonstrates frustration, anger, and even a disconnection with his kids in the light of their so called “brain damage.” He finds it exhausting, painful, and annoying to deal with. This, thankfully, is not how our Heavenly Father handles our Christian Brain Damage. Our Father is never exhausted by our failures. He is always willing to show mercy even when we manage to screw up every single day of our lives. Sometimes all we can say is “I dunno,” but God understands us. He says that if we confess our sins, He will always be faithful to forgive us. He gently and lovingly reminds us of His will, and righteously instructs us with wisdom and care.

As Christians, we all demonstrate signs of Christian Brain Damage (some more than others), but we are more than blessed to have a Father who is merciful unto us and who gives us grace when we least expect it. I know that I will continue to struggle with this, but thanks be to God, who delivers me (daily) through Jesus Christ our Lord!