Because I am stubborn and frustrated.

This post has no topic, no underlying message, and no point. I’m writing because I want to at least write something. I don’t really have the energy or the time to do so effectively, but I’m too stubborn and frustrated not to.

I got off work early for the second day in a row. Great! Right? NO.

Yesterday, I leave work to drive 3.5 hours to do a campus visit in TN, and then drive 3.5 hours back home do go to a soccer game. Long day. Today I leave work at 1:45 to go to my sports medicine doctor for surgery follow up. He tells me that I should still be in pain, and that although I am progressing well, I shouldn’t expect to be back to normal for another 4 months to a year. Fantastic news for an active young person.  I then come home, and have to leave to go get my computer fixed 30 minutes later. After that I went and worked my leg for the first real time since my surgery. Played tennis. How do I feel afterwards? Sore. I get home and my old computer doesn’t work even after I got the new charger for it. Now its 12:05 and I have to get up within 6 hours to go to work. Long day… again.

I’m upet because I haven’t had time to write like I’d like to write for the past few days. Tonight, dealing with this inability in addition to physical soreness and pain has made me less than jovial.

Perhaps tomorrow night I will be able to post the results for Experiment #3. I think I will take a few days off before I post the new experiment though. You all seem like you are a little burned out on it for now. I’ll give it a rest. I miss you. I haven’t really conversed with my readers all that much lately *other than in forums*. It is sad, and it is frustrating to not be able to post like I want to. Thanks for putting up with me.

Look for a new post about a piece of prose that I wrote a long time ago. It will be about love and what I want out of it. Cool right? yeah I know, I don’t really think so either, but I really meant it when I wrote it. I’m sure that as I rewrite it the words will mean something to me again. An Avett Brothers song will be included. I would ask that you actually listen to the song even if you don’t like the words of my own writing. The song itself is quite interesting and intrinsically lovely and true.

Well, thats all.

TTFN

Let me be clear...

“Let me be clear. I understand very little, least of all the people close to me.” – Cal Lightman,Lie to Me

Wow.    I’m not sure that this could be any more true. When I first read these words, I was taken instantly taken back. I truly care about people, ergo I make it my goal to understand people as much as possible. I try to identify with them, I look at things from their perspective, and I strive to see what makes them tick. Studying people, behavior, and thought is one of my least evident but most prominent hobbies. I am a people enthusiast.

Everywhere I go I am watching, listening, observing and making mental note of the things others say and do. The conclusions that I derive from these notes allow me to make the most appropriate reactions and/or responses to what I see. I can’t help myself. I do this subconsciously. The thing is… I am really good at it. I can talk to someone for less than 1o minutes and tell them more about themselves than they would ever be comfortable with me knowing. It is a blessing… this ability helps me identify with those around me in ways that other people might not be able to do. It allows me to show compassion where it is least expected. It gives me the opportunity to shed light on situations from perspectives unexamined. It helps me help others. I am very grateful for this ability and plan on using it as best as I can….

But there’s a hole in my bucket.

These skills of mine are best applied when little to no relationship has developed between me and whoever I am interacting with. One might contend that my conclusions might grow more accurate as I grew closer to the individual. To some extent this is true. In fact, for the majority of people, this statement is completely valid. For me, however, it is not always likely. For a period of time, as the relationship develops, we learn more and more about each other. Subtle nuances become clear distinctions. Trust is built and walls are broken down. It is within this window of time that mutual understanding of each other can peak.

As is after any climax, there is a fall. The fall, according to my experience, is inevitable. Sooner or later one will begin to trip over the rubble left behind from the broken walls. I tend to continue observation, conclusion, and application as each relationship grows. The rub lies within personal security. There comes a point beyond which people do not wish to go when it comes to emotional and mental publicity. Because it is in my nature to keep plugging away in attempt to go deeper, fear or frustration often settles into the minds of those who I get closest to.  I get too close- constantly pushing the limits, expecting positive results to continue with each surge forward. This rarely is the case. It is more common that eventually the relationship suffers because of insecurity (either on my part or theirs- it can go both ways). This is a regrettably sad result to come from something once thought to be lovely.

I, at times, find myself farthest away from those who are closest to me. 

For this, I am truly grieved. For this, I am sincerely sorry.

You deserve better. You will have better… Even if that means less from me.

I am in search of the happy medium. It will be found… Eventually.

Thank you, to everyone in my life, for allowing me the privilege and joy of being a part of yours. I love and appreciate it.

It's Been A While...

It’s been a while since I have written a post about random things: how I am feeling, what I have been doing, what’s been on my mind, etc.  That is what this post will be about.

Whats new in my life? Well the newest addition to my life is my new MacBook Pro, along with Aperture 3. I have had TONS of fun with each, and I plan to continue doing so. Because I got a new computer and new photo editing software, my addiction to photography has been reinforced. Today I went out on the streets and took in all of the wonderful and unusual sights known as “downtown.” Here are some of the things I saw:

This dog was just chillin in the shade while his owner played music.

These ladies stand motionless for hours on end, painted and posed as statues. You’d be surprised how many people they fool.

Keepin it classy…

Doin what he loves, and makin some cash while he’s at it…

I love going downtown. I get to see people of all walks of life. I can’t even begin to describe the amount of diversity I see every time I go down there. If I were to name groups of people, I would inevitably leave some out, so I won’t even try. It was beautiful outside today, which made walking the streets a lovely experience. Parking was a pain, as usual. I always hate coughing up $5.00 for a little 10X8 parking spot… Oh well, I guess those people have to make money somehow. They’ll never run out of customers, that’s for sure.

Anywho, what else is going on in my life? Oh yeah, only one of the most important decisions I need to make this year: college! I am currently in between colleges, and I am looking to transfer. The only problem is- School starts in like a month, and I haven’t even been accepted into any of the schools I am looking at yet. Why not? This is because I decided to transfer pretty much after this last semester ended. I didn’t exactly have ample time to make a decision and move on it. Anyways… So I am currently getting transcripts transferred -which by the way is a pain in the butt. Who in the world wants to pay a university to send a transcript somewhere? I’m a broke college kid. Why am I a broke college kid? I am a broke college kid because I give all my money to the university! So naturally, they need more in order to make this transition happen successfully. Go figure.

In other news… the United States just lost to Mexico in the Gold Cup Final. Oh wait, I guess I should call that the Copa Oro now, shouldn’t I? I hate that my country had to lose tonight, but I must tip my hat to the Mexico team. They completely outplayed us and killed our defense. The US passing was horrific. We didn’t come to passes, and we took two or three touches before looking down-field. I have no words for how many chances we gave Mexico’s strikers. Dos Santos was brilliant- he totally took advantage of our insufficient back line. Overall, the game was utterly disappointing. It is a shame that the Final had to be played in California though. The crowd was clearly in favor of Mexico, despite it being within the US.     I mean come on… CALIFORNIA?! Whoever decided to hold the Final there clearly had to know that USA fans would be outnumbered; but I suppose it would be unfair to Mexico to make them play on a pitch that was in favor of USA… they haven’t been able to beat us with home-field advantage in 12 games *including when we beat them in contention for the World Cup. Hopefully next year’s qualification won’t be too far away.

A quick update on my leg-        It is healing. It is easier to walk on most of the time. It is still painful most of the time… which is annoying. I go to see my sports medicine doctor this week to talk about my progress. I plan on asking for PT, despite the surgeons insisting that it was unnecessary. Hogwash. Of course it’s necessary! I broke my femur!! “I have a rod in my leg now, and you wanna tell me that it will just go back to normal on its own? I don’t think so! I don’t know about you, but I actually like using my leg at full strength… I want it back!” – Those are my words for the surgeon. 

Oh by the way, about Mexico beating the USA… This does have some positive ramifications-

My step-dad plays in a soccer league for men 40+. Seems pretty ordinary right? Well, he plays in a league that is surrounded by latinos. In fact, everyone on his team (except for him and one other person) is hispanic. This is great for me! HAHA I would normally expect them to be raving about Mexico’s victory at their next game. What makes this situation so great is that at the end of their last game, my step-dad taunted every single one of them saying, “I wanna apologize in advance for the US beating Mexico in the Gold Cup Finals.”

He’s the keeper

I can’t wait for all of the crap they give him at the next game. He won’t understand any of it because it will be in Spanish, but I will  I new taking 6 years of Spanish would pay off!

Last thought of the night-

I need a new mattress.

Oh, one last thing!      If ANYONE out there would like to contribute to my undoubtedly bright future in photography, please feel free to do so. I need a new body (Nikon D3s), and about 3 new lenses (Nikon 14-20mm f/2.8G Wide, 24-70 f/2.8G Wide, and 70-200mm f/2.8G). If you would be interested in making a donation towards me getting any/all of those items, please contact me. I will love you forever. Promise! 

Can -YOU- Judge A Book By Its Cover: Experiment #3

Here it is! This is is Experiment #3 of my photostudy Can -YOU- Judge A Book By Its Cover? For those of you who have participated before, feel free to skip these next few lines.  For those of you who are participating for the first time, here’s how it works:

Step 1

Observe the photo

Step 2

Judge the person solely based on outward appearance

(haha I love saying that)

Step 3

Answer the questions below the photo to test your judgment skills

(Do this in the comment box at the bottom of each post. Be sure to include your username/blog URL if you have them)

Step 4

Check back in within 2 days to see the correct answers!

The winners will be featured in the Results of Experiment # post. This includes the winner’s blog if they provide the blog URL.

Now that you know what to do, DO IT!  Good luck!!

Can -YOU- Judge ME By My Cover?

           Questions:

1. How old are they?

2. Are they an extrovert or introvert?

3. Are they a cat or dog person?

4. Do they prefer books or movies?

5. Would they rather be indoors or outdoors?

6. What type of music do they like?

7. Are they athletic or artsy?

Experiment #2 Results: How did you do?

“Don’t judge someone based on how they look on the outside.”

- I gave you a chance to do just that.  

In this study, I am attempting to either prove or disprove the statement “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” Twice weekly I will post images of complete strangers. Listed below these photos will be a simple list of questions which I believe may be determined by the person’s appearance. I will ask each person to answer these questions about themselves before I post their photo

Results of Experiment #2

Questions:

1. Age
2.  Introvert or Extrovert
3. Cat or Dog Person
4. Books or Movies
5. Indoor or Outdoor Person
6. Favorite Type of Music
7. Athletic or Artsy Person

Correct Answers:

1. 20
2. Extrovert
3. Dog Person
4. Books
5. Indoor Person
6. Indie Rock
7. Artsy

Here are your winners!

Congratulations to jamiessmiles! You had the most correct answers in this experiment! Jamiessmiles has now won 2 experiments (once on Wordpress and once on Blogger)

Jamiessmiles is a 20 yr. old student from Ontario, Canada. His blog is about life (pure and simple)- amusement, frustrations, friends, and family.  Check it out and see what you think! 

http://itsagaylife-jamiessmiles.blogspot.com/

1. jamiessmiles (5/7 correct answers) Guessed the age correctly

2. a) zephyrj (5/7 correct answers) 1 year difference in age guessed

    b) ima girl (5/7 correct answers) 1 year difference in age guessed

3. Rambling Expat (4/7 correct answers) 1 year difference in age guessed

Experiment #3 will begin within the next 2 days. Check back in for your chance to win and be featured! If you missed out on last time, there will be plenty of opportunities to prove your skills.

If you have any suggestions for the questions I will be asking the people photographed, please feel free to include them in a comment below! If  they are good enough, they might just be in the next experiment!

Thanks for your participation!