Rude Awakening(s)

Yesterday was an average night. There wasn't much going on, so I decided to go to bed a little bit early.

"Maybe I'll get caught up on some much needed rest," I thought.

With that in mind, I took some hydro and hit the hay. I had absolutely no problems going to sleep- I had stayed out till 2 or 3 AM every night for the past week. Once I was out, the meds kept me out.  I was in for a great night of sleep.

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agle" - Robert Burns, "To a Mouse"

Mr. Sandman had other plans for me. I had forgotten to turn off my two alarms on my iPhone. This was not a fun discovery to make especially at 5:00 AM. Frustrated with myself, I tried to go back to sleep. 4 hours later, I woke up to moaning and groaning right outside my window. What was going on? Apparently   a group of 8 guys randomly decided to call out the name of a friend as if they were zombies. After being woken up for a second time, I was very close to helping them become part of the 'living dead'. I restrained my anger and let them pass unharmed. Back to sleep.

30 minutes later...

Well, I was able to sleep. I was also able to dream. Guess what I dreamed about! Yep... Zombies attacking me. Thank you annoying indies!! Your antics woke me up yet again. Despite multiple disruptions, I was determined to get my rest, so I went back to sleep.

Could this attempt last very long? Of course not! Within 20 minutes of being asleep, I was once again awake. Why? The blacklight hanging over my window decided to fall and shatter all over my bed.

My white flag was out and waving wildly. I surrendered.

Just one more sleepless night...

Mind Chase

My mind is racing.
My mind I'm chasing.
Through the past, around the future...
Jumping over painful thoughts,
Running wildly amidst fantasy,
Swimming through a sea of dreams,
My mind is racing,
My mind's escaping.

I'm falling behind, I'm losing sight.
I'm running, I'm pushing with all my might!
My mind is racing.
My mind's escaping.

Burned out, worn down.
I claw my way, I see the sign.
Dead End. I frown.
My mind is racing,
But I'm not chasing.

It seems I've lost my mind.

Reflection: Perspective

I think... I think... I think... 

Therefore it is.

This is how most of us live our lives. We constantly see things our way, having no reserve for other options. No new or unique ideas may be presented to us because our stubborn minds are so resistant to being incorrect. We are taught as we grow up to be confident in what we believe, to make decisions for ourselves, and to believe that truth is relative to the individual. This is flawed. The world around us is not what we define it to be. Truth is not always as simple as an idea concocted by each person. We cannot rely on our own ideas and our own definitions of truth to find the real truth. We must observe. We verify our unfounded conclusions. The world is not always as we see it and we must constantly view things from a different perspective. 

The following clip is from the movie The Dead Poets Society. In this scene, John Keating (played by Robin Williams) explains this idea of exploring a different perspective:

Remember the photograph displayed at the beginning of this post? Take a closer look at it. Notice the ripples within the trees on the right. What you are seeing is a reflection of a line of trees in a pond. Below is the photo rotated 180'.

"I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way..." -Keating (DPS)

Do this, and you might find that the world looks very different than you originally thought.

Dear Mom,

I sit alone, hundreds of miles away from your warm and comforting arms. Your smile cannot reassure me, your hands can not hold me; but your voice remains audible every day. Your words teach me, guide me, lift me up, and give me confidence that I can accomplish the greatest of things.

You have been a mentor- proving instruction and suggestions that will aid me in crucial decisions. 

You have been a therapist- hearing my complaints and taking on the burden of my stress.

You have been a tutor- assisting me with problematic subjects. 

You have been a physician- nursing me back to health despite any wound the world could hit me with. 

You have been a lawyer- defending me when wrongly accused. 

You have been a guardian- protecting me from all attempted assault. 

You have been a caterer- satisfying the needs of countless friends under virtually any circumstance. 

You have been a coach- encouraging me to have fun but pushing me towards the best I can be.

You have been a judge- correcting unsatisfactory behavior and showing me the right path to take. 

You have been a comedian- providing comic relief when all I need to do is laugh a little. 

You have been a designer- giving me new thoughts and ideas for how to improve my life.

You have been a seamstress- tying up loose ends and mending my frayed edges. 

You have been a minister- virtuously serving me and leading me in the paths of righteousness.
You have been a confidante- willingly hearing and securing my deepest fears and desires.


You have been all of these amazing things, but greatest of all:

You have been my MOM!

Mom, 

You are altogether lovely. You have always been exactly what I needed when I needed it. I know without a doubt that I will never find myself in a situation when you aren't all I need you to be. I love you for all that you do, but most of all I love you for loving me. After all you have done, I could never ask any more from you... but to HAVE A GREAT MOTHER'S DAY!!! :) 

With Love, 

Your Son

Twitter Nation

Well... the Twitter nation is growing every day. The question still remains- Is Twitter really for me??

Everyone I know seems to be tweeting all the time, and everyone I know is asking if I have a Twitter. Answer? Yes, I do have a Twitter account (skylarmacrae). Do I use my Twitter account? No, for the most part, I have not used it.

Blogging is a way for me to express myself and explain to others what is going on in my life or how I am feeling about certain things. What do I need Twitter for? Right??? Well, I have come to the conclusion that, although a large majority of my friends have iPhones and can access my blog via the internet, I still would like for them to have easier access to my thoughts.

Twitter is highly accessible and available in many different free applications.  It can be found online as well as used through most  mobile phones. Not only is it easy to get to, but it also provides an outlet that is very different from blogging. Most of the time when I am blogging, I write in  large quantities. What I have found, however, is that I often have short momentary thoughts that I would like to share with my friends and with the world. Can I blog these thoughts? Yes. Is it appropriate for my blog? No. I do not want my blog to be filled with one line updates on my moods or thoughts.

This leads to the question- Well how do I share these amusing and highly interesting one-liners of mine? Answer- Twitter. Yes... it is almost a sad thing, but it is true. Twitter is the perfect outlet for these one shot punches that I need to get out. Do I want to become a Twitter junkie? Absolutely Not. But for the time being, I plan on taking advantage of this outlet. Not only will it help me express myself, but see the ideas and feelings of those who are important to me.

So... here goes nothing...

Look me up if you want to- skylarmacrae